I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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