Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
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