Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
did you just send me my own nude
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
