Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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