can we get nightvision for the apartment?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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