Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
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