East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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