I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
