I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
found the other keg... it's in the tree
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Randomize
