...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
