dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
