I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Randomize
