woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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