you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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