I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
