i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize
