I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
whose parrot is this?
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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