? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
