I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
