He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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