No more Irish car bombs ever.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
