you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
