just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
