I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
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