We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
