Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Randomize
