Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
You smell like stripper and shame
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
