TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
