i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
