She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
