so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
