Christians are straight up FREAKS
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
