I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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