He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
