Having a random hookup so left but love u
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
