I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
