Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
