who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
