put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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