i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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