Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
