i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Randomize
