its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
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