next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I just gargled with NyQuil
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
