We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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