I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Randomize
