I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
