What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
