Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
