We won't sleep together?
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
